Enneagram Type 6
Sixes belong to the Head Centre. They want to be safe and secure, feel a sense of belonging, and ensure that things go smoothly with little or no shocks. Unsurprisingly, they function best when rules are defined, with clear structures and systems. Sixes are doubting and sceptical by nature. Their curiosity prompts them to ask a lot of questions, seek clarification and are very prepared, in fact over-prepared, and this deprives them of practicing spontaneity. Their planning does bring big advantages in the form of reliability, fluid thinking processes and contingency plans when unforeseen circumstances happen. There are 2 sides to Six, frequently referred to as the Phobic or Counterphobic Six. The phobic Six constantly fears the worst and takes precautions to try to ensure these fears are minimised. The counterphobic Six, while still motivated by fear, chooses to fight their fear by pushing through it with strength and sometimes, intimidation.
Early Childhood
The Enneagram Type 6 child grew up having trust in their caregiver like any other child only to have that trust betrayed ,having not shown up in situations where they were supposed to. As a result, the child adapted to those situations and adopted a mindset of preparedness for the worst case scenario. The Type 6 child felt that they should be ready for unpredictability and that there are no safe places to go. They lost faith that they would receive the physical and emotional protection that a caregiver should provide. As such, they caved in to their own inner defense of doubting, second guessing, and disbelieving their own inner guidance.
Strengths
Sixes remain committed and faithful to family, friends and those whom they trust. They pride themselves on being reliable and effective team players. They don’t want to let anyone down and will do their utmost best to be supportive and hardworking.
Paradoxical strengths: Sixes have the ability to be both a conformist and a non-conformist. The latter simply means that they must do what they fear. They can and will back up what they say with strong conviction and speak their minds, but respectfully. A hidden strength (and in a way, a weakness as well) is this wilful fight to show bravery and not give in to fear. Almost like a fake it till you make it mentality, but in this context, that means some Sixes will fight it out regardless of inner fear.
Observant: Even though Sixes are known for throwing spanners, opening a can of worms and (sometimes) raining on your parade, it comes from a place of good intentions and wanting to create safety and security for all. They seek to understand the inconsistencies in proposals and discussions, tighten loose ends and ensure that things are good to go.
Limitations
Any type becomes unresourceful when they begin to over-do some of the thoughts and behaviours that are typical of the type.
- Sixes are sometimes called worry-warts. They overthink about the worst case scenarios and then prepare for what might happen, which sometimes stops them from just living and allowing. This lack of trust for what’s possible keeps them from trusting themselves and letting go.
- Sometimes, Sixes short-change themselves because of the constant fear that something is going to go wrong. As a result, they are risk averse and avoid throwing themselves into new opportunities.
Reflections
You tend to cut short your celebrations and spend little time on relishing your achievements before you start doubting your abilities again. Learn to use these positive experiences as your anchors and focus on how you perform well.
Learn to differentiate between objective reality (what is actually happening) and a projection (something based on your imagination).
Listen to your heart and body more, especially if your mind and superego (self talk) starts to doubt peoples’ intentions. Learn to decipher the source of these doubts and weigh them with what your heart feels.
Learn to trust your inner authority rather than looking to someone or something outside yourself for meaning and certainty. Wisdom lies within you and you have more strength and resources than you think you do.
Recognize that change is a necessary part of building your emotional and mental muscle. Build the courage to face your fears and recognize that change is and will always be a constant, and making mistakes comes with the territory.